"Sometimes the blessing is in the breaking"

“Sometimes the blessing is in the breaking.” This spoke to me during a reflective testimony a colleague shared yesterday. As she spoke, I was reminded of a promise I feel God gave me in 1992 about not being discouraged for ultimately my baskets would be full and overflowing. I’ve always felt this meant helping people find their place in God’s Kingdom. As my colleague spoke I was reminded how a few years ago church experiences left me disappointed, discouraged, and ready to give up. “I’m just done,” was the thought that kept coming to me during that time. It was a time of deep brokenness, and I easily could have given up and walked away, but by God’s grace I didn’t. In Matthew 14 the story is found of Jesus taking five loaves and two fish. He looked up to heaven, blessed it, and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to a multitude of thousands of people. They all ate and were satisfied, and twelve basketfuls of broken pieces were left over. My promise in 1992 was for there to be overflow, but in my brokenness almost 20 years later I realized more clearly my own responsibility to be faithful to the mission even when discouragement comes along. The experience changed me and changed my mindset on many things, and it freed me from the confines of my limited perspective of God and His grace. As a result, my faith in Christ is stronger on this side of the experience, and I can see more clearly my role as a disciple simply going along and gathering the other broken pieces of overflow to place in the baskets (i.e., helping other people find their way along this shared journey). Brokenness isn’t fun, but there can be blessing as a result of the breaking, if we allow God to accomplish His work in us (and it is a continual process). It can draw us closer to Him and His purpose for us. I’m trusting God to do the same with this broken vessel (me) so that His name may be glorified and His Kingdom expanded in some way through the life He entrusts to me. It doesn’t have to be grand; I just have to be faithful. The fulfillment of a promise awaits.